I fell into a spiral of depression and anxiety. All of my energy went to juggling Nathan’s appointments, medications, making sure he didn’t fall behind in school, and managing his pain. I neglected my own health, my own needs, my business and even my own self worth. My weight ballooned. I stopped caring about my looks. My closet was just shades of dark grey and black. My then-husband barely touched me. Heck, I didn’t even want to touch myself. 

I can’t remember if it was a teacher, a school counselor, or his psychologist who called me with concern.

“We need to speak immediately,” they said. “Nathan is feeling suicidal.”

To this day, the details of that call are still fuzzy. Everything that surrounded me—the kitchen, walls, the counter, everything except the square-foot of flooring underneath my feet—gave way and melted all around me. 

Time froze. I froze. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even breathe.

And as if someone had pushed the “play” button again, my breath rushed back, the floor re-assembled and my body went on auto-pilot to take action and save my boy. 

I pulled him from school. I went back over the meticulous notes from the pediatrician, neurologist #1, neurologist #2, neurologist #3, psychiatrist, psychologist, endocrinologist, chiropractor, and a host of other doctors. 

I looked at medications on the counter.

I looked at my child. 

I was missing something. 

Maybe the cocktail of medications were making him even sicker. He had 2 different prescriptions for epilepsy, 2 for managing pain, 1 for thyroid, another for depression (from the pain). 

Maybe I needed a different approach. 

I sought out a different neurologist (#4) who approached the problem from scratch.

“Let’s carefully wean him off all his medications and monitor him closely.”

Also, at the urging of a friend, I brought Nathan to see a physical therapist. Perhaps the pain could be relieved by stretching or exercises. 

Ron was not a typical physical therapist. His office is filled with dumbbells, barbells, heavy medicine balls, jump boxes and and rowing machines.

“The best way to relieve pain is through building strength in the weak muscles that are compensating,” he said.

He taught Nathan stretches and exercises to take the pressure off of a nerve at the base of his skull. We worked on his posture, his abdominal muscles and his shoulders. The more he slumped (which was a lot), the more pressure was put on the nerve, which caused him pain. 

For the first time in months, Nathan finally stood tall. He sat up with his shoulders back. His eyebrows were relaxed. The softness around his eyes returned. Zero medications. We put him on a strength-building regimen with Ron 3 times a week. The whole family joined him, making “working out” a family activity. I watched Nathan’s pain just disappear. I watched him build muscle. I watched him gain confidence and drop weight. His lightness and laughter came back.  

But, I also noticed my own changes. I was building my own strength physically, mentally and emotionally. I began cooking differently to support our healthier, cleaner, more mindful lifestyle. Rather than elaborate three-course comfort meals, I focused on simple foods—really good quality ingredients with simple preparation. We ate tons of colorful one-bowl meals. (Hello, Buddha Bowl recipes!)

My own extra pounds began to melt off. I discovered the sexy pronunciation of my collar bone. (It was hiding under a layer of shame, sadness and fat.) I stopped needing to suck in my tummy every time I stood up. 

Before long, I had lost 40 pounds. FORTY POUNDS off my small 5-foot 2-inch frame. 

But weight wasn’t the only thing I’d lost. The fog of depression left me as well. Taking care of my body gave me a newfound sense of self-worth and joy. I started writing in my “Magical Moments” journal again, which provided me a ritual for taking action on gratitude and attracting good luck and prosperity. Flow of energy, abundance, and happiness returned to my life.  

I felt beautiful. I felt vibrant. I felt sexy again. I began creating magical moments to spark joy in other people’s lives. A riot of color invaded my closet and pushed out all the depressing, monotone blacks.

Also… I knew that I deserved to be desired, to be touched, to be cherished by my man. And so I made a decision. I finally had the strength to create a new path as a single mom. 

In my journey for a joyful life, I found an alternative to seeking for purpose in my life. Instead, I live purposefully each and every day. I am innately aware that my thoughts are responsible for my feelings, and therefore I purposefully choose good, empowering thoughts. 

Instead of having just a singular purpose in life, why not dedicate your life to creating many moments of magic and offer meaningful contributions to other people? Instead of finding purpose, why not live every day purposeful and intentional? 

Gratitude is a choice we make, and  an action we take. 

Our life consists of seconds, minutes, and little moments that all add up to the bigger picture – so how can we stop and savor and bring intentional magic to our experience? 

I invite you to adopt “Creating Magical Moments” as a life motto for yourself. How can you create them for yourself and other people? What small gesture can you take to show appreciation, let someone know you care, or even just encourage a smile on a stranger’s face? What small (or big) action can you take to care for yourself?

Define What Magic Is To YOU! 

We all have an understanding of what magic looks like in our lives. Each of us has a unique view on what sparks inner joy within us and for those around us. 

For some, it might be gathering with family and friends. For others, magic is found in solitude in nature or with animals, the feeling of cooking a delicious meal or gardening in the yard. The experience of magic can be stimulated in a multitude of ways within our lives.

What’s important to note is that joy and magic are available to you at any point in time, simply by bringing conscious awareness and intention into any moment.

 Here are a few questions to ask yourself: 

1. What does a magical life feel like to me?
2. What are some simple ways I can bring more magic and joy into my life today?
3. What are some ways I can cultivate magic every day?
4. What are my go-to activities that bring more joy, love and peace into my life?
5. Who can I help and what can I infuse my own magic into? Make a list of family, friends, and members of your community and refer back to the list when you want a reminder of who to reach out to.